I have struggled so much this week. Much of it was about being sick and another key element that I realise today is being brought down by a colleague at work.
I left work today feeling depressed and very low energy. I ended up buying food. And lots of it. I was sick of feeling unwell and sick of my colleague's behaviour. When I got home, I knew my weekend was going to be dominated by ill will towards this person and that depressed me further. Then I remembered an exercise. The way I do it is to imagine myself as a little girl, about 4 years old and a toy train comes rolling into the room. I then talk to my 4 year old self and ask her to put the silly things on the train. "Let's put that silly woman Jaki on the train and all the silly things from work." And once that's done, I send the train away, to the end of the universe and with it goes a load off my shoulders. When I did that, I stopped feeling sick. The change in myself is amazing. I'm now really looking forward to my weekend, to exercising tomorrow and to getting back on track with my eating. I haven't forgotten the problem with the colleague but it's not getting me down, though it is amazing the effect a person can have on me. I need to work out how to deal with her negativity as it is poisonous. What I'll do is keep a track of it all week in writing so that I have something specific to work with and then consider it again.
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