My nutritionist said that many of her overweight clients were tired and being tired leads to overeating. I heard that and I nodded, but I didn't really feel it was true until today. I have trouble sleeping. I wake up around 4am each day and so end up at work at 7am cos what's the point in hanging around in bed trying to sleep. I leave work at 3pm by the way. It takes me forever to get started when I am at work and today, I've eating stupidly. A lot of fin crisps with butter and lots of Kale, without butter. I'm tired, I eat. My home is a mess as I don't have the energy to organise myself. So I wait for the weekend to catch up on my sleep at some point, get re-energised and start on the downward spiral towards exhaustion from next Monday.
Life wise - M's smugness and self congratulation is a bit annoying. Nuff said.
Thursday, 4 December 2008
Wednesday, 3 December 2008
3rd December
It's turned into a nice day.
Woke up yet again around 4am. It could well have been 3.30am but I couldn't bring myself to look at the clock. I got out of bed at 5am and had a bath. At work just before 7am. Had soup and bread for breakfast and made lunch, brown rice with mackerel and veggies. Snacked most of the morning on rice crackers. I was so tired and at the time it seemed like the natural thing to do. My energy levels really picked up after lunch. I think it was partly because M was a bit prickly this morning. I felt I'd pissed her off but she came round. She's got a lot on. J was her usual c*** self. S went really loud in the late afternoon. It was a very forced jollity. Odd. Left at 3pm. Picked up my test results from the GP. He hadn't ordered full bloods, the twat. Went to Sainsbury's to buy a few things, eating a small dark chocolate bar, 40g on the way home and then ended up snacking on half a pack of Finn Crisps with butter. Mad cos I wasn't satisfied until I made the tomatoes a la creme concoction that I love. I'll become more aware over time. Ended up taking my sucroguard late in the evening as I forgot to do it this morning. I'll have yogurt and nuts without any honey before going to bed in case the honey is making the sugar dip during the night either more inevitable or more extreme. Want to sleep.
Kept the girls entertained with my birthing wrist rest. I have a gel wrist rest at work and a while ago out of boredom, I put a hole in it but the contents didn't leak out as hoped for because its a jelly like gel substance in there. My attention turned back to the hole when I started thinking about fish in aquarium and wondering if I could push objects into the hole as I would see them through the clear cover. I pulled off a couple of mini pompoms from a card I had in my desk, one green and one red, and forced them into the gel with the end of a flattened out paperclip. The gel wasn't having it and although I could get them in a couple of centimeters, the gel eventually pushed them back out. It was brilliant. the first pompom was covered in a film as it pushed it's way out. The film then peeled back and the two pompoms appeared clean and dry on the surface of the wrist rest, as if they had been newly born. I repeated the trick and kept showing people. L said it takes a certain talent to be that disgusting.
Woke up yet again around 4am. It could well have been 3.30am but I couldn't bring myself to look at the clock. I got out of bed at 5am and had a bath. At work just before 7am. Had soup and bread for breakfast and made lunch, brown rice with mackerel and veggies. Snacked most of the morning on rice crackers. I was so tired and at the time it seemed like the natural thing to do. My energy levels really picked up after lunch. I think it was partly because M was a bit prickly this morning. I felt I'd pissed her off but she came round. She's got a lot on. J was her usual c*** self. S went really loud in the late afternoon. It was a very forced jollity. Odd. Left at 3pm. Picked up my test results from the GP. He hadn't ordered full bloods, the twat. Went to Sainsbury's to buy a few things, eating a small dark chocolate bar, 40g on the way home and then ended up snacking on half a pack of Finn Crisps with butter. Mad cos I wasn't satisfied until I made the tomatoes a la creme concoction that I love. I'll become more aware over time. Ended up taking my sucroguard late in the evening as I forgot to do it this morning. I'll have yogurt and nuts without any honey before going to bed in case the honey is making the sugar dip during the night either more inevitable or more extreme. Want to sleep.
Kept the girls entertained with my birthing wrist rest. I have a gel wrist rest at work and a while ago out of boredom, I put a hole in it but the contents didn't leak out as hoped for because its a jelly like gel substance in there. My attention turned back to the hole when I started thinking about fish in aquarium and wondering if I could push objects into the hole as I would see them through the clear cover. I pulled off a couple of mini pompoms from a card I had in my desk, one green and one red, and forced them into the gel with the end of a flattened out paperclip. The gel wasn't having it and although I could get them in a couple of centimeters, the gel eventually pushed them back out. It was brilliant. the first pompom was covered in a film as it pushed it's way out. The film then peeled back and the two pompoms appeared clean and dry on the surface of the wrist rest, as if they had been newly born. I repeated the trick and kept showing people. L said it takes a certain talent to be that disgusting.
Tuesday, 2 December 2008
Not a great day
A meeting with the arse wipe CEO was shit. Felt really humiliated throughout it. I then had to stay late for a meeting that was a total waste of time to be present at. Almost a twelve hour day. I feel like crying now. Not sure what to do. I feel like throwing the towel in. I'd leave if I could. But I keep coming back to, Don't let the b******* get you down. I won't let the b****** get me down. I get so sick of sucking up the crap from these wanker bosses, just having to wait for it to get better, feeling so trapped, I can't even tell them to go fuck themselves, and that's all I really want to do know.
Monday, 1 December 2008
Things not about food today
My friend was being interviewed today for an internal promotion. There was some unfairness about the process and to cheer her up, I jokingly said I'd try some voodoo (the popular and unauthentic version of it) to put off the competition. At home, I created a Voodoo Potato Man, sticking the contents of the cutlery drawer into it and emailed a photo of it to her. She found it funny. Two candidates withdrew. One of the interviewees had a flat tire. Voodoo Potato Man had worked! Another, quite odious candidate, completely buggered up his presentation and test because of a technical hitch leaving my friend to sail through to the final two. Of course, her success is nothing to do with Voodoo Potato Man, but it did lighten things up a bit.
My line manager came back to work after a few months of sick with stress. My instinct says he's back too soon. But still, sickness isn't a bad thing and being off with stress can be an opportunity. Mental illness is so underated.
My line manager came back to work after a few months of sick with stress. My instinct says he's back too soon. But still, sickness isn't a bad thing and being off with stress can be an opportunity. Mental illness is so underated.
The past week's food has been very creamy and I've been drinking large mugs of creamy fresh coffee. Decided to ease off for a bit. It was my first day off coffee and maybe that's why my head's been aching.
Made a lovely french country soup with basil pistou yesterday. Had some for breakfast with a slice of rye bread from the Village Bakery. No yeast or wheat. It's a sour bread dough, moist and gorgeous. I'd noticed I was getting a lot of bloating and cut out the linseed I usually have for breakfast and wheat based bread, just to be on the safe side, and it seems to have worked. I may reintroduce the linseed in the next few days and see what happens.
For lunch I had a cup of boiled brown rice, grilled mackerel, steamed cabbage, a bit of celery and cucumber. It was virtuous as opposed to nice. I really didn't want the mackerel when I put my lunch together this morning, but by 12.30pm it had become a welcome and tasty meal.
I got out of bed late this morning and that doesn't mean that I had a lie in. I was up at 3.30am and didn't get back to sleep, despite the yogurt and almonds in the evening that are supposed to stop my blood sugar from dipping, which leads to the production of adrenaline, which leads to me waking up. May try a sweet potato. But for tonight, it'll be Valerian. I hate being too tired. End up feeling miserable.
Had the most gorgeous dinner when I eventually got home; three trains were cancelled. I cooked tomatoes a la creme following Edouard De Pomaine's recipe and towards the end I tipped in half a can of haricot beans and a good few cloves of roasted garlic, let that cook for a few minutes before finishing off with cream. Ate with two slices of rye bread. It was the most gorgeous meal. A really heavenly version of beans in tomato sauce. I'll say it again, GORGEOUS. I'm so happy and contented as I write this.
Made a lovely french country soup with basil pistou yesterday. Had some for breakfast with a slice of rye bread from the Village Bakery. No yeast or wheat. It's a sour bread dough, moist and gorgeous. I'd noticed I was getting a lot of bloating and cut out the linseed I usually have for breakfast and wheat based bread, just to be on the safe side, and it seems to have worked. I may reintroduce the linseed in the next few days and see what happens.
For lunch I had a cup of boiled brown rice, grilled mackerel, steamed cabbage, a bit of celery and cucumber. It was virtuous as opposed to nice. I really didn't want the mackerel when I put my lunch together this morning, but by 12.30pm it had become a welcome and tasty meal.
I got out of bed late this morning and that doesn't mean that I had a lie in. I was up at 3.30am and didn't get back to sleep, despite the yogurt and almonds in the evening that are supposed to stop my blood sugar from dipping, which leads to the production of adrenaline, which leads to me waking up. May try a sweet potato. But for tonight, it'll be Valerian. I hate being too tired. End up feeling miserable.
Had the most gorgeous dinner when I eventually got home; three trains were cancelled. I cooked tomatoes a la creme following Edouard De Pomaine's recipe and towards the end I tipped in half a can of haricot beans and a good few cloves of roasted garlic, let that cook for a few minutes before finishing off with cream. Ate with two slices of rye bread. It was the most gorgeous meal. A really heavenly version of beans in tomato sauce. I'll say it again, GORGEOUS. I'm so happy and contented as I write this.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)